I think I died a long time ago.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
