dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
