Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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