My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
