guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize