just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
