I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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