quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
