I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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