Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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