whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
