god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize