So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
