The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
