please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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