New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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