we have pet lesbian snakes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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