So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize