The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
