forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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