I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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