I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So vagazzling was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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