did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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