very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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