You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
