The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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