he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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