i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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