Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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