Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize