She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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