if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
