he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fuck me I smell like cheese
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
