Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
