STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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