ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
