well you can't waste a boner
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
