no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk