Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
