well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
