hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
