I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
