They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
