I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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