You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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