Yo dont text me then not text me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
