he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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