I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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