We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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