Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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