i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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