hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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