We won't sleep together?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
