he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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