JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
did i walk over a car last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize