I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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