Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
