were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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