proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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