I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
