I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
