Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
